Following
Our take
In the poignant piece titled "Following," we are invited into a deeply personal narrative that explores themes of identity, memory, and familial expectation. The poem deftly captures the complexities of navigating one's true self amid the weight of societal and familial pressures. The opening lines introduce us to the persistent presence of "His name," a symbol of the expectations and memories that shadow the protagonist, reminding readers of the struggles many face when reconciling their identities with those that are imposed upon them by others. This theme resonates deeply within the context of societal discussions around identity, as seen in related articles like The Evidence That God Exists, where the author grapples with faith and identity within a rigid framework.
The poem's exploration of familial relationships—particularly at poignant moments like Thanksgiving—underscores how family dynamics can both shape and constrain our identities. The protagonist’s aunt, in passing the stuffing, unwittingly perpetuates the cycle of expectation associated with "Him." This moment serves as a microcosm of the broader societal issues around gender identity and the struggle for acceptance. It highlights how familial love can sometimes come laced with unintentional harm, particularly in contexts where a family member's identity diverges from established norms. The struggle to claim one’s identity amidst these familial reminders is a challenge many readers can relate to, especially those in communities where traditional values are upheld. This echoes sentiments discussed in other works that tackle the intersections of personal identity and societal norms.
Moreover, the line “jury be damned, the court ordained a legal change but they could not make Him be her” captures the crux of the struggle: the legal recognition of identity does not always translate to personal acceptance. The protagonist’s conflict with her identity—her desire to be seen as "her" rather than "Him"—highlights a critical aspect of the gender identity discourse. Readers are compelled to reflect on the difference between societal recognition and personal truth, a theme that resonates in various narratives of self-discovery. The poem effectively illustrates that the journey toward authenticity is often fraught with external and internal conflict, emphasizing the importance of self-acceptance over societal validation.
As we delve into the nuances of this narrative, it becomes clear that the exploration of identity is not just a personal struggle, but a societal challenge. The intersections of gender, family, and societal expectations create a rich tapestry for discussion and reflection. Ultimately, "Following" prompts readers to question the nature of identity in a world that often struggles to accept deviations from the norm. It invites us to consider how we can better support those navigating their paths to authenticity, just as the protagonist seeks to carve out her space amid the noise of expectation. This piece leaves us with a vital question: How can we foster environments that embrace individuality while challenging the traditional narratives that often dictate who we should be? As society continues to evolve, the need for understanding and acceptance will remain paramount, making such discussions increasingly relevant.
His name followed
her around everywhere,
slipping out of well-meaning mouths,
tumbling forth from familiar faces, embarrassing friends
who knew better but made more of a habit of forgetting than
remembering she wanted nothing
to do with Him, but here He was as her aunt
passed the stuffing at Thanksgiving, each family holiday
reminding her He was the firstborn, her family’s favorite, Jesus
He was the older sibling who would never let her
forget Him, forget them:
her childhood crush
her high-school teacher
her church’s priest who believed her
to be a phase, not a name, more choice than fact
jury be damned, the court ordained
a legal change but they could not make
Him be her, for she was still He
perpetually for her enemies
provisionally at the DMV
parenthetically for the politicians who apologetically
pleaded to the undecided voters in our divided county
who believed in Him, could agree on Him, could
more easily conceive of He and Him and His
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, my God He
was a given, was given, was God’s-given
how could He be given so much and want to become
her, a demand, an ask, an explanation
an aberration, a lesson
for her mother, a challenge
for her father, a pardon?
for her employer, an oh!
for her grandmother
and for her grandfather, right next to her?
he wanted her gone
wanted to slash the s right out of she
grab her, shake her until she forgot her ending
coughed up the middle, the aunt’s stuffing
dropped the r and left He, Him who was there at the beginning
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